


The Geographic Equation of Love

by ironfamjam



Series: You Watched Me Grow [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Co-Parenting, College, Fluff, Gen, May and Tony are awesome co-parents, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 21:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18747577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironfamjam/pseuds/ironfamjam
Summary: Is it easier to leave or be the one left behind?After getting accepted into MIT, Peter's ecstatic. Until that is, he realizes that it means leaving Queens and everyone in it behind.While his family tries to make the entire summer a giant going away party, Peter tries hard to be happy; but all he can focus on is how few of these moments he has left and how quickly everyone around him is building lives they don't need him in anymore.Irondad Bingo Prompt: College





	The Geographic Equation of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first box checked for my Irondad Bingo prompt: College and also the sequel to my favourite story, Filling the Gaps. I hope you all enjoy!

When Tony unveiled the car frame to him a week ago, it had been a few days after Father’s Day. He’d put the date down at June 20. Or something like that. The two of them had immediately set to work on sketching out a design. A sleek exterior, sedan style because college was all about cramming as many people into the one car a group of friends had and speeding off, a sun roof so Peter could stick his head out of it just for fun, and every single sensor Tony could think of to keep him safe. 

Tony’s gesture had warmed Peter’s heart. It showed just how much Tony had grown through being his mentor turned kinda dad. How it wasn’t about how much money you threw at a person, but the time you spent and the shared experiences that formed bonds you cherished. Not to mention how fun it was to design your own car. How many other kids could say they got to do that? Every single inch of it was personalized to their unique process, every part of it had a memory, a struggle, a story. The entire thing was a product of a relationship Peter never thought he’d have again and that in itself was worth more than anything Tony could ever buy him. 

Tony had wanted to gift him something practical, and nothing seemed more useful to him then a car to drive down to MIT two months from now in August. Back when Peter accepted his offer, he had been so excited he thought he might burst and if it was possible, Tony even more so. “It’ll be great kid. You’ll be the most popular kid in your dorm not to mention you’ll be able to come down and visit whenever you want, no bus booking required.” 

At the time, that had sounded amazing. 

It’s June 22, and Peter’s having the time of his life slicing sheets of metal for the doors and picking out black leather for the seats. On June 22, Tony offhandedly mentions the trip Peter had broached as an idea with Ned and MJ and a few other Decathalon friends. “Whatever happened to your little graduation getaway?” Tony asks between sparks that fly from his hands. 

Peter blinks, pausing the saw so he didn’t slice his hand off and get all sorts of yelled at, “What? Oh yeah, that…I don’t know we never really planned it I guess.” He shrugs, turning the saw back on. 

Tony shoots him a look, a mix of extreme judgement and fondness, “No brethren of mine is going to not celebrate graduating. It’s your God given right to blow off steam before college.” Tony declares and Peter can’t help but roll his eyes.

“It’s also my God given right to save money before said college.”

Tony curls his nose, “For _what_?” 

“You can’t just pay for everything Mr. Stark! It’s too much!”

It’s Tony’s turn to roll his eyes as he flicks the machine switch back on, clearly over their discussion. “God kids really do need repetition. If I had a dollar for every time I had to remind you that I’m a literal billionaire and that I care that you don’t end up eating ramen noodles every day I’d make a whole other billion.” 

“There’s no need to be a drama queen Mr. Stark.” 

“Watch it kid. Or I’ll paint this whole car neon orange. They’ll call you the Highlighter and you can say goodbye to any social status.” 

Peter bursts into giggles, “The Highlighter?? That’s so lame oh my _God_.” 

But Tony’s holding back a smile too and they stifle their laughter to focus back on the car for another ten minutes before Tony pushes again. “But seriously. You should talk to Ned about it. You can even use my plane, less fees for everyone involved.” 

“Ned might die Mr. Stark.” Peter says, extremely serious, “He really might.”

“Then he’ll die in luxury, isn’t that the dream?” 

Peter snorts but shrugs with a considering look on his face. That probably was the dream. He wouldn’t know of course, because he’s been expressly forbidden to die, but sure, that was probably the dream. 

He’s inputting the dimensions for the back doors as he mulls over Tony’s suggestion. It wouldn’t be a terrible idea. Going on that vacation… When he accepted his MIT offer earlier in the spring, he had been so over the moon, May and Tony practically bouncing in joy that he had never realized what that meant for him and Ned. For him and MJ. 

Ned was going to Caltech, he said he needed the sun and that it was in his islander genes and MJ was going to go become the world’s best journalist at NYU. And Peter was proud of them obviously. Ridiculously proud. But…he couldn’t help but wish they had followed him over to MIT. Ned could have done it. They could have been room-mates and pulled all nighters together and complained about teachers and it would’ve been great. 

Peter feels a familiar sort of sadness creep into his chest but he shoves it away. Yeah, it would’ve been great. But his friends were going to do great things and they were happy and that’s what mattered and maybe this vacation is exactly what they needed. One last hurrah before they left that phase of seeing each other every day. 

Oh man. 

Peter really doesn’t want to be sad. He really, really doesn’t. He slows his movements, trying not to attract Tony’s attention but that man was like a sensor, he knew exactly when the mood had taken a turn for the worse, “What’s up kid?”

Jolting, Peter blinks, opening his mouth and then closing it, “Nothing!” Tony looks unconvinced, “It’s nothing!” he repeats, holding his hands up, “I was just thinking about high school I guess.” 

Tony nods, pointing a wrench at him, “See? You need one last big party to celebrate it all.” 

Peter smiles weakly. “Y-yeah. I think you’re right.”

“I’m always right.” Tony pauses, “Except when Pepper is.”

And that draws out a laugh and Peter shakes his head, “Oh man. I wish she was here to hear that.” 

“Hush child, don’t go spilling my secrets.” 

\--------------------------------------

On June 24, he presents his plan to May and Tony over dessert. “So Ned and me and MJ were talking and we thought it might be fun to go to Hawaii for a few days. We’ll use your plane and then we thought we could stay at this Airbnb and we’d go from the 26 to the 30th and um, that’s it?” he looks at the two of them expecting a barrage of questions but May just claps her hands together.

“Great! Sounds good sweetie.” 

Peter balks. “Wait. Aren’t you gonna harass me more?” 

May purses her lips, “Are you going to do drugs?”

“What? No!” 

Tony scoffs, “Wuss.” But May elbows him _hard_ and he takes it back immediately, “I was kidding!!” 

“Are you going to go Spidermanning and ruin your own vacation?” May asks.

“No, at least, I wasn’t planning to-”

“You definitely should _not_.” Tony interjects, “I ban you.” 

Peter snorts. “Well that’s that.” 

“Ok then, and are you going to send us all your booking info and where you’re going to be every day?” May asks for the last time.

“Of course.” Peter responds, like he’s personally offended.

May throws herself against the couch hands in the air, “I rest my case.” she smiles at him, shaking her head at the mistrust on his face, “Peter,” she says gently, “We trust you and I know you’re really looking forward to this. Why would I say no?” 

Peter shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck, “I don’t know…” he trails off at the realization that he really doesn’t know why he’s acting like this.

May’s never stopped him from having fun before and she’s always wanted him to loosen up more and have relax. And Tony was always riding on him live his life and be young so he could live vicariously through him, so it shouldn’t be surprising that they’d support his trip plans. It was just… “I’ve just…never…left home by myself before so I guess…I don’t know. I thought you’d be more protective about it.” he admits slowly, something niggling at the back of his mind. 

Tony lets out a huffy breath. “Kid. I have your phone connected to all my mainframes at the tower _and_ the compound, not to mention the emergency watch I gave you, plus,” and Tony has that shit eating expression on his face that Peter already knows spells trouble, “no offense Underoos,” translation: full offense, “but you’re a bigger nerd than Bruce and that’s saying something. There’s no way you’ll get up to no good.” 

“Hey!” he protests while May snickers across from him. “May!” he whines, gesturing petulantly.

But May can only muster fake sympathy for so long before she cracks, “I’m sorry honey, but he’s right. You cried when you thought you accidentally stole the restaurant crayons when you were six remember?” 

Tony straight up dies, cackling madly while Peter feels the blush burn across his cheeks. “ _May_.” he squeaks, betrayal ripe in his eyes.

“I’m sorry! He deserves to know!” 

“Oh wow. That’s too precious I’m going to vomit.” Tony’s still laughing and Peter shrinks in his seat, crossing his arms with a pout.

“Ok I’m ready to leave now, I’ve over Queens. Goodbye New York and current guardians. Applications for new ones will be posted on my tumblr tonight.” 

May smirks, “Is this before or after you post about how Iron Man antis are self-absorbed idiots with no critical thinking skills?” 

“ _MAY_!” Peter shrieks as Tony doubles over, collapsing into May.

“No Peter don’t go! It’s adorable that you fight my haters online! Peter wait!” 

\----------------------------------

Peter’s feeling pretty good. Like his whole life has finally shifted onto a track he liked. Something long term and comfortable and right. He’s going on an amazing trip with his best friends. He’s going to build a car with his mentor. And then he’s going to the university of his dreams. Those are good things. Great things honestly. He’s lucky and he knows he’s lucky and yet…

Peter shakes his head. 

No. He’s going to enjoy this. There’d be no more worrying anymore. Everything is great. Everything is perfect. Everything is fine. 

June 26th arrives and Peter’s just barely finished packing because he’d spent the night before swinging around Queens as though he could clear up all crime for the next four days and had fallen asleep half on the floor, a pair of rolled up socks in his hand. May had walked in, hands at her hips with an exasperated expression on her face. “Sweetie, I love you. But you’re a straight up mess.” 

Peter blinks, still bleary with sleep before jolting awake, looking around frantically. “Oh my God did I miss the flight?!”

“it’s a private plane Peter you can’t miss the flight.”

“Still!!” Peter jumps up, stuffing socks on his feet as he hops around, throwing the t-shirt he’s wearing into his open suitcase.

“Breakfast is on the table, go shower, I’ll help you finish packing and then Harold will be downstairs to pick us up in half an hour.” 

“May you’re the best.” Peter professes, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek as she swats him away. 

It’s only when Peter hops into the shower massaging shampoo through his hair that he realizes Happy had turned into _Harold_ and there was something _distinctly_ suspicious about that goofy smile on May’s face. He knew they’d become closer friends ever since she found out about him being Spiderman. It made sense, it’s how her and Tony became friends too. But still! It’s not like she was texting Tony during late nights or giggling into the phone on conversations she didn’t intend Peter to hear. 

Peter makes a face, rinsing his hair quickly and turning off the water. He’d worry about all that later. But seriously, _Harold_? His name is Happy and that’s that. 

May’s already set his suitcase next to the door when he comes out and he can’t help but feel a swell of appreciation. He throws on a T-shirt, this one with a biology pun, and some shorts, scarfs down the Eggo waffles and sliced bananas and the two of them are out the door just in time. 

Happy almost leaps out the car when he spots them, looking way too much like a try hard as he opens May’s door for her, “Good morning May. You look great.” 

May blushes, twirling her hair around her finger in that way Peter knows she does when she’s nervous. “Whaaaat? No way. It’s seven am. Who looks good at seven?” 

“Well I guess you’re just breaking records.” Happy replies and Peter scrunches his nose.

Oh my _God_. 

He coughs loudly, making a big show of getting inside and Happy nods his head twice, mumbling something to himself before getting into the driver’s seat. “So, Peter, excited to finally get out of the Big Apple?” Happy asks and Peter raises a brow.

“Wow. I don’t think you’ve ever willingly made small talk with me in my life.” 

May makes a dismissive gesture with her hand, “Peter stop it.” The two adults share a look that has Peter staring between the two of them like they’ve grown extra heads.

Without even thinking about it, he pulls out his phone, fingers flying.

 _MR. STAAARKKKKKKK_ followed by ten crying emojis 

_….you better not be Spidermanning right now. I WILL fly this plane without you_

_It’s not me!! It’s May!! And Harold!_ He follows that with a bunch of dead emojis and exaggerated question marks

_Who the fuck is Harold_

And that’s when Peter knows he and Tony are kindred spirits and that he probably loves him more than anything else in the whole damn world.

He sends back more crying emojis.

When they arrive at the air strip, May’s marveling at how much Happy can lift when he effortlessly pulls Peter’s bag out the trunk one handed- Peter has to bite his tongue to remind them that he can literally lift 200 tonnes but hey who’s counting- when Tony strides up, looking effortlessly cool in his tailored three piece suit and red tinted sunglasses. He tucks the shades into his breast pocket wrapping an arm around Peter and scooting him away from the flirty duo. “Happy and May huh?” he says and Peter wails.

“They’re so!!!” he flaps his hands in the air and Tony snorts, nodding like he understands, “Yeah, your aunt dating must be weird. But hey, she could do a lot worse than Happy.”

Peter frowns, “Well yeah. Happy’s the best. But still!” 

Tony’s looking way more amused for what is really a terrible crisis and Peter glares, “Okay, okay. I’ll see what I can do. Can you please just relax and enjoy your vacation?”

“Yeah, okay fine, fine. I’m enjoying myself. Jeez.” 

“You know that you’re literally the only teenager in the world who acts the way you do?” 

Peter gives him a look that has Tony lifting his hands in mock self-defense and Peter sighs. His family sucks. But when he takes another look at the gentle adoration on May’s face and the shy slouch of Happy’s shoulders, he feels himself softening. Well…maybe they had their good points. 

When MJ and Ned arrive, they stand in an awkward line, waving at their parents and saying their goodbyes. May hugs him tight, kissing him on his hair. “You better have so much fun your grandkids are gonna hear stories about it.” 

“That’s a really high standard but I’ll try?? I guess??” 

“You heard the lady. Have fun, be good, and most importantly, _relax_.” Tony pokes him in the nose and Peter bats his hand away, pouting.

“I will! I will! Can’t we just say the I love you’s and byes now?” 

Tony grins and Peter knows he’s in for it, so he grabs Ned’s shoulder, “Run Ned! Run!”

But he can’t escape Tony’s booming laughter, “Petey-pie! Light of our lives! Fire of our hearts! We’ll miss you every day! Lord knows how we’ll ever go on without you!” he grabs May, dramatically sobbing into her shoulder, “Our boy’s all grown up!” 

Peter kinda just wants to die.

“Bye Peter! We love you!” May calls, waving as the plane staircase heaves upwards. 

Yeah okay, Peter loves them too.

 

Hawaii is warmer than he expected. But Peter’s having such a good time in the day that he doesn’t realize how different everything is until he’s alone at night. It’s really fun obviously. Going to the beach, playing volleyball with strangers, climbing on Ned’s shoulders just to get dunked into the water, and then drying up to go hiking up actual volcanoes. It’s nice, to just…be a kid and not have responsibilities or have to think too hard about anything. But it’s strange too. 

When they go back into the apartment they rented, they were lucky, managing to find a three bedroom place with a killer balcony, there’s no one waiting up for him, no one checking in on him, no one to finish the day with. It’s weird. And he’s lying in bed thinking about how he can’t hear the faint thrum of Desperate Housewives that May always plays in the background when she does her nightly clean up that it hits him that he’s leaving his home for at least four years and then maybe forever and that he’s not ready to go. 

He’d been thinking about dates all wrong. It wasn’t about Father’s Day or vacation day or anything else, it’s about August 26. Move in day and first year orientation at MIT. That’s fifty-nine days. Fifty-nine days until he’s alone in a place he’s never been with people he doesn’t know studying topics way more advanced than anything he’d ever come across so far. He won’t have May to knock on his door to check in on him or someone to make him crappy toaster waffles when he’s running late or have a home with someone in it that was completely his own. 

The anxiety that had been lurking in the corner of his mind lurches free, spilling inside him until his every thought is drenched in it. The thoughts get bigger, they eclipse every rationale he had of locking those feelings at bay. He’d stop going to the tower as much. He’d never get to play with Dum-E again- or at least not like he used to. And there’d be no more Tony picking him up from school to get burgers and there’d be no more spontaneous invention days and if Peter kept being Spiderman, there’d be no one to patch him up if he got hurt or make sure he was okay. He’d be truly alone. In every way that mattered. 

Peter’s stomach hurts. He pulls the blanket over his head and tries to calm down when an even worse thought hits him. Maybe May had to love him. She raised him after all. But Tony didn’t have to. If Peter stopped seeing him wouldn’t he just…forget all about him? Tony didn’t need him. He could just replace him with anyone else. Maybe…maybe have his own kid. God knows he’d been wanting one. Peter flashes back to May and Happy. Maybe she was just waiting until he left to start really dating. Maybe she had been waiting all this time for him to move out so she could start her life again because it had been _Peter_ holding her back all this time- oh God. 

Peter sucks in a breath. He misses home and he misses the routine he had built and he had finally finally rebuilt a life he could be happy with after Ben and now he was the one who had just ruined everything and he didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to go. 

Peter doesn’t sleep that night.

He’s anxious the whole flight home, he just wants to land he just wants to land he just wants to land. The plane knocks against the pavement, they bounce once, twice, and slow to a stop. Peter can see Mr. Jones’ and Mrs. Leeds’ car. He panics when he can’t see anyone for him and wonders if his worst fears are already coming true when he sees Tony leaning against the hood of a cherry Maserati scrolling through his phone. The relief Peter feels is palpable and he’s the first one off the plane trying to resist the urge to barrel into the man and never let go. 

“Pete!” Tony calls, smiling as he tucks his phone back into his pocket, “Wow is May going to be jealous of that tan, look at you Barbie Ken.” 

An emotion Tony can’t pinpoint flashes across Peter’s face but it’s gone almost as fast as it appears. Peter crashes into him, hugging him tight. “I’m way cuter than Ken Mr. Stark.” He mumbles and Tony rolls his eyes, patting him on the shoulder placatingly.

“Alright squirt, whatever you say. Now come on, make use of that super strength of yours and throw your bag in the trunk we’re meeting May later but we have some work to do first. You can tell me all about your shenanigans in the lab.” 

Hearing May’s name, the residual tension in Peter’s shoulders fades and he’s starting to feel more like himself again, as though he only knows who he is in the place he’s always been. A small part of him knows that it isn’t good. He shouldn’t be this attached. He should be more like MJ, tougher and better. But he can’t help it. He’s lost so much he can’t even think about parting with everything now. Not when he’s just got it all back.

So he relishes at the opportunity of spending more time with Tony and practically bounces as he packs away his stuff in the trunk. He yells his goodbyes to his friends promising to send all the pictures on the group chat before he and Tony slip inside the car and drive out the air strip. Tony turns on the Bluetooth, automatically syncing to his phone and playing the familiar rock songs that soothe Peter’s soul. “What work are we doing?” his usual excitement bursting through.

“Oh you know,” Tony says, cavalier, “just Thor’s new armor.” 

Peter’s jaw drops. “No _way_.” 

“Peter there’s not a single moment I wish you were there to see more than when Thor decided to be a literal lightening rod and then burnt all his clothes.” Tony’s cackling at this point, “He was half naked and everyone and their moms were out taking photos and what was the hashtag again?” Tony snaps his fingers, “Hey, FRI.”

“I believe it was hashtag Thunder Dick, sir.” 

Tony can’t breathe from how hard he’s laughing and Peter knows it’s funny. It sounds freaking hilarious. He can imagine the absolutely shameless thunder god prancing around in half singed clothing and a whole army of fans lusting after what would probably have been the only covered part of him and it’s funny. Peter knows it is. 

But all he can focus on is that he missed it. 

He was only gone four days and he had missed a whole social media phenomenon and something Tony freaking Stark thought was so hysterical he had done everything but start the hashtag himself and Peter hadn’t been there. How much more would he miss when he left completely? How many battles would he miss he could have helped in? How many team building moments would happen without him in them? How many times would Tony look to share something with him only to find Peter wasn’t there?

Who would Tony tell instead of Peter? 

The familiar sense of foreboding smears across his thoughts and Peter tries to smile, he really does but Tony’s already stopped laughing to look at him in concern, “Kid if I knew talking about the stuff downstairs would freak out you out I wouldn’t have mentioned it.” 

Peter gawks, waving his hands in the air, “No! No! That’s not it. It’s- it’s hilarious honestly. Poor Thor that’s- that’s so embarrassing lol.” 

Tony raises a brow, staring at him, “Ok. Spill it. You never say abbreviations out loud unless you’ve literally run out of every other word to say.”

Peter won’t make eye contact, choosing to pull at the bottom of his shirt instead. “Nothing.” he insists, “I just…zoned out and then I was too embarrassed to ask you to repeat yourself and- yeah.” he finishes lamely.

Tony huffs, stabbing him in his ribs with a pen he pulls out magically from his pocket. “I’m going to keep poking you until you tell me.” 

“Mr. Stark!” Peter yells, “You’re literally driving!”

“And I’m literally a genius. Multi-tasking. Have you heard of it?” he drawls back and Peter’s wriggling out of the way but Tony!! Keeps!! Poking!! Him!!

“Mr. Stark!!” 

“Peter!!” 

The pen catches him in his cheek and Peter throws his hands up, “Okay! Okay! I surrender!”

Tony smirks, twirling the pen across his fingers and dropping it back into his pocket. Peter hates how cool he looks right then and sulks to show it. “You’re the worst.” he announces.

If possible, Tony’s smirk widens, “Not what your Father’s Day gift said.” 

Peter groans, sinking further into his seat. Serious now, Tony’s face softens as they pull into a red light. “Hey. Kid. You know I’m no good at any of this stuff.” he crinkles his nose, fiddling with the steering wheel, “But you know I’m trying. To, you know, listen. But it doesn’t work if you don’t talk to me.” 

Peter looks at him but doesn’t say anything. Tony presses on the gas, staring right ahead. He knows from experience that sometimes it was easier to talk if no one was looking right at you and the scenery around you was just rushing by. “Did something happen on your trip?”

There’s a pause and then, “No.”

Tony purses his lips and Peter can’t help the follow up, “I mean not really. The trip was- the trip was great. We had a lot of fun I just…”

Tony doesn’t say anything, just waits patiently for Peter to find his thoughts. “I guess I just realized that I’m going away soon and it never really occurred to me before.” he says slowly.

Tony looks relieved. “Oh good. I thought you’d accidentally climbed a wall while drunk without your mask on or something.” 

Peter’s so startled he doesn’t remember to feel let down by his reaction until much later, “You thought I _what_? I don’t- I can’t even _get_ drunk!” he sputters.

“ _I_ know that. I didn’t know if _you_ knew that.” Tony replies as though that makes any sense. 

Peter shakes his head, determined to move on, “I can’t even with this conversation right now. But remind me how Thor getting his clothes burnt means you need to make him a suit?”

Tony clicks his tongue like it’s obvious, “We’re going to make him a literal conductor. It’s gonna be great.” 

“If you say so Mr. Stark.” 

(The annoying part is, it’s actually really great). 

The two of them spend the better part of the day in the lab, showing each other increasingly worse and worse suit designs, shooting blueberries in each other’s mouths and then inviting Bruce down to join in on the fun. Peter and Tony stare at him with equally keen, bright eyed, bushy tailed expressions as Bruce looks between them and their design plans. 

“So…the giant antenna on his helmet was…your idea?” he gestures to Peter who nods seriously.

“It’s science Dr. Banner.” 

“Science.” Tony agrees.

“Right.” Bruce says slowly. “And the…” he gestures vaguely at the paper.

“You mean the copper crotch cup?” Tony supplies, looking positively giddy, “It’s for protection.”

“And alliteration.” Peter supplies. 

“Can’t forget that.” Tony nods. 

Bruce sighs. “If I help you, will you back me up when I tell Thor I want to go to Bermuda instead of Russia for our wedding?” 

“What’s wrong with Russia?” 

“The stress Tony. The stress. I’m trying to get married not go green and destroy the kremlin.” 

Tony strokes his beard. “That’s fair.” he announces, holding out his hand, “It’s a deal doc.”

“Alright, someone hand me a hammer, let’s get to it.” 

\-------------------------

It’s July 4th and the entire country is showing their Spiderman pride. “For the last time Peter, if you thank one more person for showing their support today I’m going to put you up for adoption.” Tony says, sighing into his hands.

“Hey! Better me than the star spangled PSA.” 

Tony quirks a grin. “Ah man, those videos are better than therapy honestly.” 

Peter grabs a chair, adopting a Serious Face. “So-” he announces, “you’re having trouble with your kid claiming a national holiday exists for him.” 

May’s laughter trills behind him as she adjusts an overly flamboyant and celebratory headband on Happy’s head, smiling at his completely deadpan expression. “Is this really necessary?” he asks, glaring at the dangling letters flopping around his forehead.

“It’s Independence Day!” May exclaims, “Where’s your national pride Harold?” 

“Back in the fifties where it belongs.” 

“You’re no fun Happy. Today’s about hot dogs and fireworks. That’s at least one half of your top favourite things.” 

Happy unclenches, loosening a little at a promise of BBQ food. “The food’s alright. It’s the security nightmare I’m hassling with. This is prime time for assassinations.” he says, crossing his arms and pinning Tony down with a stare that would make a lesser man tense. 

To his credit, Tony takes another sip of his pina colada and stretches, “Happy. I need you to relax. No one’s going to be assassinated.”

Happy keeps grumbling until May walks over and gives him a quick kiss on the lips, “Tony’s right you know. Today’s going to be great.” 

Happy softens instantly like the huge teddy bear he actually is and Peter turns out to fake gag in Tony’s direction. Yeah sure he loved Happy and yeah sure he made May really happy. But still. 

Ew. 

Tony shoots him a thumbs up and takes another sip. 

It’s July 4th and Peter’s managed to push away every sign that his days are numbered in this apartment. He’s doing pretty well. It helps that he’s constantly distracted. Between working on Thor’s suit, building his new car, and planning today, he’s spent the last five days in pure ignorant bliss. He knew he shouldn’t have thought it was gonna last. 

They’re driving out of the city to meet up with the rest of the group at a park for a BBQ picnic before the fireworks start. The front seat is stuffed with food baskets and blankets and so May sits in the back with him and Tony which is why she’s in perfect smacking distance to thwack him on the arm when they pass by a Bed Bath and Beyond. “Fifty percent blow out sale? Should we pull over?” 

“If we leave any later we’ll be stuck in traffic for days.” Tony drops his shades down an inch, “Plus, it says it’s on until tomorrow.”

Peter’s confused. “Did I miss the redecoration memo?” 

“Peter you’re moving to your dorm soon and we haven’t even started getting ready.” 

Peter’s expression tightens and he tries to laugh it off. “Oh yeah…ahh…”

“Ah moving in day.” Tony reminisces, pulling Peter in. “Good times. Of course, I was a fifteen year old brat with a trust fund smarter than the whole floor combined so everyone hated me from the start. But still. Good times.” 

Tony’s voice drops to a horrified whisper, “The most important part are the shower sandals. I’m getting you five.” 

May curls her nose. “Oh God. Yeah, what is it with college dorms and gross showers?”

Tony shrugs, “It’s part of the experience. Toughen you right up.” 

But Peter doesn’t want toughening up. Doesn’t want anything to do with it actually. “Isn’t it- isn’t it kinda early? It’s only July.” 

“Peter if we combine my last minute-ness with your last minute-ness I’m worried we’ll never get you there.” 

Would that be so bad? He wanted to say. But Peter keeps his mouth shut and mumbles something non-committal until the topic changes again. 

Everyone’s already there at the park when they arrive. Rhodey’s on the grill while Thor molds the ground beef into little patties. Pepper’s setting pretty table cloths because everything she did was classy, even picnicking. Bruce waves them over, “Oh you’re just in time, Rhodey was just about to teach me how to grill.” 

Tony groans, “Oh God that’s exactly what we need. Gordon Ramsey and the devil’s lovechild.”

“Tones, I can hear you bitching, get over here and help me with the hot dogs. I’m expecting you to be better than our Labor Day fiasco.” 

“It was one hotdog!” 

“You set the whole thing on fire!” 

Peter pushes the car conversation from his mind and tries to be in the moment. Tries to enjoy the sunshine and the frisbee game and Thor’s booming laughter. He wants to live here. Right in this moment. With everyone he loves in the place he loves. Rhodey shouts for Peter and he turns around to see Tony drawing a smiley face with ketchup on a burger he slides over. “You better grab the pickles before Pepper takes them all. She tries to hide it but she’s a fiend.” 

When the sun sets and the stars filter through the sky, Peter can’t help but lean into Tony’s side, closing his eyes. He used to be afraid of falling. He could never see the ground below, didn’t know how far he would crash, didn’t have the courage to take leaps of faith because he couldn’t risk the drop. But he could give it his all now, he could jump as far as he wanted to because he wasn’t afraid of falling anymore. Not when Tony was always there to catch him. 

Peter leans into him and Tony doesn’t budge, strong and tall and immovable like a mountain. Peter wishes he could be more like that. Less afraid of change and moving on and starting anew. Tony wouldn’t be afraid. But Peter is. He’s terrified. 

The fireworks boom overhead and the entire sky lights up in sparks of colour. Peter looks at May and Happy, heads tucked together as they hold each other’s hands. He sees the lights flicker in Tony’s eyes, something amazed in their depths. Almost like he knows his thoughts, Tony’s arm wraps around him, squeezing his shoulder. “Chin up kid, it’s not every day New York lights up.” 

Peter knows that. His days are numbered here. Peter tries to enjoy the moment, but all he can focus on is how soon it’ll all disappear. And how few of these moments he has left. 

\-----------------------------------

Peter’s not having a good day. May’s brought up buying storage units for under his dorm bed and a shower bag and Peter can’t hear another word of it so he makes a million excuses and jets out of the apartment. He wants to go play hero, but knows he’s too distracted to do it right and the last thing he needs is to be bedridden from a shot wound and lectured again. Ned is at a family thing and MJ isn’t replying to her phone, so Peter goes to where he always goes when he wants to be at home but not. 

Tony finds him in the workshop an hour and a half later. “Hey kid, working without me?” 

Peter flips up his welding helmet, the finished floor pan pieces now stuck together, the chassis pieces waiting to be installed next. “Oh. Hey Mr. Stark. Sorry should I have called you first?” he asks, voice dull.

Concerned, Tony walks over to his side, bending down to put the chassis in place so Peter can twist it in. “You know you’re allowed in here whenever you want.”

Peter pushes the piece in place making sure it’s fit correctly so they can put the suspension on it. The silence is an invitation for him to explain himself he knows, but Peter doesn’t really want to talk. He just wants to work his thoughts away. Get caught in the monotony of building. And if there’s anyone in the world who would understand that, it’s Tony. 

Tony takes another look at him, deciding something in his mind before clapping his hands on his knees. “Alright, I’ll get the axles.” 

They work steadily, making progress on the base, working their way up. They take a physical labor break to submit the specs for the engine to FRIDAY to build. “What do you think you’re doing exactly?” Tony asks, amused at Peter’s audacity.

“What?” he defends, “What’s the point of building a car if you don’t give it a bit of extra horsepower.” 

Tony crosses his arms, “You’re not allowed to go past sixty-five and that’s only an exception for highways.”

“Mr. Stark! What if there’s a bad guy high speed car chase?”

“You think I’m allowing you to get into car chases?” Tony’s bewilderment is almost funny if Peter wasn’t trying to be as endearing as possible.

“Come on Mr. Stark please! It’ll just be for emergencies and just to see it would be so cool! I don’t ever have to go that fast, it’d just be neat to see that I could go that fast.” He presses his hands together trying to look as endearing as possible while Tony stared him down.

Unable to say no, Tony rips his gaze away, “Fine, fine, you win.” Peter cheers, “But! If you ever go over eighty, Karen will alert me and you’ll have me to answer to.” 

“Oh my God, you’re gonna put Karen in my car?” Peter can’t stop smiling.

“Of course, what did you think this would be? A lame ass corolla?” Tony scoffs.

“Mr. Stark that’s so cool!!” 

“Well if we want to program that in, we have to finish the actual mechanical aspect of it first. If we’re gonna drive this down to MIT with you we should step on the gas.” Tony turns to him, lips quirked in a grin at his own lame joke but Peter’s crestfallen expression stops him.

Tony leans against the desk, arms crossed. “Ok Peter. We spent enough time not talking about this. Why do you go from excited puppy to kicked puppy every time we bring up MIT. Do you not want to go anymore?” 

And Peter feels his heart hurt because will Tony still care about him this much if he goes? Will he remember the way Peter’s face looks when he’s trying not to show too much. The way he bites his lip before he spills his feelings. Will he remember what to look out for when he thinks there’s something wrong…Will Tony still care to even ask? 

Peter’s gaze drops and he wants to tell the truth- he wants to so badly. But he can’t. Because it’s stupid and he knows it’s stupid and it would just make Tony sad or worse, angry, and Peter just can’t. He just can’t. So he lies and says, “I’m just a little nervous to leave home is all.” 

Tony sets down the baseball he plays with sometimes to get his creative juices going and gives him a wry smile. “Well, I can’t say I relate at all. I was way too excited to get out of my house, but it’s a testament to how many people love you that makes you think that. So you’re pretty lucky don’t you think?” 

Peter wants to cry. That’s exactly why he doesn’t want to go. That’s exactly it. But he doesn’t say anything and Tony keeps going and it makes Peter miss him even though he’s right in front of him because soon he won’t be. 

“It’s just that I’ve never stayed anywhere but home until Hawaii and I guess Washington.” Peter forces a laugh and Tony makes a face.

“Well that’s just untrue. You stay here all the time and you’re always fine.” 

“Yeah but this is my home away from home, it’s not the same.” Peter says thoughtlessly as though he hadn’t just stabbed Tony right through the heart.

Tony blinks, something overly emotional swirling in his eyes before he coughs, picking up the baseball again and squeezing it. “You can’t just say things like that Pete, my heart condition, remember.” 

But Peter can tell he’s touched everywhere that counts. And doesn’t understand why Tony’s still shocked. Because Peter thinks he’s made it pretty clear that he thinks he’s hung the moon and stars. That he’s the bravest man he’s ever known not because he isn’t afraid but does what needs to be done anyway. That Tony is the first person he wants to tell things to, the good and the bad. That Tony and May mean everything to him. 

So he knows he can’t tell Tony the real reason he’s terrified to go because it would just break Tony’s heart. But Peter knows the truth. He knows that nothing lasts forever no matter how much Tony and May would tell him so.

Tony walks towards him, clasps him by the shoulder, “Peter, I know it’s…” he waves his hand in the air, “…a lot, to move away for the first time, but trust me, you’re going to love it. You’ll get to be the biggest nerd in a school made for even bigger nerds. You’ll have the time of your life.”

Peter nods like he believes him, “Yeah, I guess so.” 

“Trust me.” 

And Peter does trust him. Trusts him with everything he has in him. But he trusts the fact that the world will move on without him more. 

Some things are just constant. 

\-------------------------------------

It’s July 10th when May kisses him on his temple before saying goodbye at the door. She’s wearing her night out outfit, but the classy one. It’s a simple dark green dress that’s tight enough to highlight exactly how stunning she is but still keep things classy. She spent an hour fiddling with her hair, something Peter hasn’t seen her do since her and Ben used to do date nights years ago and there’s an odd feeling inside him, something like nostalgia but sadder. 

“You gonna be okay while I’m gone?” 

“Of course May. I’m eighteen not eight.” 

“Just be careful when you go out. Make sure you keep Tony in the loop since I’m not here.”

“I will.” Peter fiddles with his pen before looking at her, “Have a good time May. Make sure he treats you right!” 

“Oh please, Harold’s a sweetie. I’ll catch up with you later okay? Love you!”

She’s out the door before he can say I love you back. He waits until he hears the door slam shut from outside and Happy driving off before he puts on his suit, pulling the mask over his head and sneaking out the window. He hasn’t been out in a couple days, some part of him’s been putting it off. He’s not really sure why. Probably because he hasn’t decided if Spiderman’s moving up with him to school or not. He doesn’t want to uproot the identity and take it out of Queens where Spiderman belongs, but he also knows he can’t just not try and make a difference for four years of his life just because he’s in a different city. 

But Peter doesn’t want to think about it. So he doesn’t. He webs up bad guys and helps tourists with their directions and coaxes a cat out of a tree. What he doesn’t think about is whether Queens will think he’s abandoned them if he leaves except he realizes that’s exactly what he would be doing and how could he possibly do that? He’d promised to protect Queens, be their friendly neighborhood Spiderman and now he was just going to leave them to the wolves? 

Obviously he couldn’t do that, obviously he had to- he had to stay. Obviously. He couldn’t just- leave Queens. That’d be wrong. Ok. So he had to stay. He couldn’t leave. For Queens’ sake. Yeah. 

Yeah. 

Peter tries not to hate himself on his way home. 

\----------------------------------

 

July 15th and Tony’s lugging him into the car practically seat belting him himself. “We’re going shopping and you’re going to like it.” 

“Mr. Stark we could literally be doing anything else, like the car maybe??” 

Tony looks tempted for a few seconds before shaking his head, determined. “No way kid. May told me you blew her off yesterday so we thought some reinforcements were necessary.”

“I liked it better when you two didn’t have each other’s numbers.” 

Tony looks regretful on Peter’s behalf but he can tell it’s one hundred percent fake. “Yeah I’m sure we really made your life sooo difficult.” Tony drawls.

Full on domestic mode switched to the max, Tony pulls out a list from his pocket and hands it to Peter. “I’m pretty sure I got everything, but if there’s something I missed you know how to use a pen.” 

“What about an eraser?” Peter grumbles, “This is a lot of stuff.” 

“That’s college Pete.” 

Peter doesn’t know how to tell him that he can’t go. 

The store is filled with shoppers and Tony and Peter are just another duo lost in the crowd. Tony’s too cheery, pushing around the dingy shopping cart and just straight up dunking things into it. He spends a good fifteen minutes staring between two different types of bed sheets before Peter can’t help but sigh, long and dramatic. “Mr. Stark. They’re basically the same thing, either one is fine.”

Tony rolls his eyes, “You hooligans have no idea how much the quality of your thread count and fabric type can make a difference in your life.” 

Peter flops onto his shoulder, shaking him, “Mr. Stark I’m dying.” he whines. 

Tony is unsympathetic. 

“Walk it off.” 

Offended and- more annoyingly- amused, Peter stuffs his hands into his pockets taking Tony’s advice. Maybe he’d pick up some of the stationary Tony had on the list before they wasted another twenty minutes debating between one inch and one point five inch margins. He decides to track exactly zero of the items down, choosing to collapse on one of the display beds instead, sprawled like a starfish and feeling more exhausted than he’s ever been. 

Tony finds him a few minutes later, tapping on his shin, “Come on Peter we’re not even halfway done and I promised May I’d bring you home in time for dinner.” 

Peter groans, squishing the pillow into his face.

“Although the more I think about it, the more logistically improbable it is that we fit everything in the car. But then again, I creamed Rhodey at Tetris back in the day and I bet I still got it.” 

Tony’s still chattering away, but the idea hits Peter in its simple brilliance. If he could delay the car’s construction, then he could delay his travel day, which means he could delay moving, which means, obviously, he wouldn’t have to go. Fool proof. 

(And Peter knows it isn’t, he knows, he knows but…)

Peter shoots up from his spot, looking more energized than he had in a while. 

“Ok Mr. Stark, I’ll help you out.”

Tony raises a brow. “Change of heart?” 

“You could say that.”

\--------------------------------

Tony texts him to come work on the car together but Peter blows him off, making up some excuse about meeting up with his friends for lunch. What he finds less easy to blow off is Bruce blowing up the group chat begging for help sending out invitations. Wedding Fiascos was a group chat Peter had made for the grooms-to-be after one too many coordination mishaps. It was currently filled with a series of exclamation marks and angry yelling at Thor for getting their invitations destroyed because he thought it would be a great idea to mail them after going out to catch a few alien tech robbers for funsies. Peter’s sure the confetti of exploded invitations made a killer entrance before Thor punched them all in the face. 

Bruce wasn’t so amused.

Peter volunteers to go pick up the new invitations and haul them back to the tower to mail them. 

_Bruce: You’re the only good one Peter. Thank you, you have no idea how much I appreciate it_

_Thor: And I too young Spider!_

_Bruce: No, you don’t get to appreciate him. It’s your fault!_

_Thor: Is it not the custom that what is yours is also mine?_

Peter snorts and tucks his phone back into his pocket. July 18 and he’s a part-time superhero wedding planner. He’s on the dining table licking envelopes like his life depended on it when the door whooshes open and Peter’s spidey senses ring. “I’m in danger!!” he yells, turning his head around to point a menacing finger at Tony, “Why are you sending me threatening vibes!”

Tony rolls his eyes, putting his sunglasses into his breast pocket. “You _are_ in danger Mr. I ignore my dear mentor’s messages even though we’re on the same group chat so I can _see_ you’re online.” he sniffs. 

“That’s a really long name isn’t it? What are you Esteban?” 

Tony holds up a hand, pretending to clutch his heart, “I can’t do this again. Spare me oh great memelord.” 

Peter curls his nose, “Oh my God, never say that again, you can’t pull it off oh my _God_.” but he can’t stop laughing. 

Tony plops on the seat across him, taking a pile of invitations and envelopes and starts working quietly. “The car’s been missing you, you know.” 

“Has it?” he says innocently, still looking at the stamps like they’re the most interesting things in the world.

“Yeah, it wants to know when it’s gonna have the engine installed. Which you need to be there to do, because I need to teach you how to fix a car if it breaks down because I won’t be there with you.” 

“I’m sorry Mr. Stark, I was just caught up with stuff.” 

Tony glances up at him through his lashes but doesn’t say anything. “Well you know where to find us.” he says finally, and Peter tries not to let the hurt in his voice get to him.

\-----------------------------

It’s July 21st and Peter’s sleeping over at the tower tonight. Happy surprised May with a weekend away at a luxury spa hotel. May had showed him all the pictures and even Peter had to admit it looked amazing. It was an outdoor layout, gorgeous trees swooping overhead all the little pools, hot-tubs, and artificial waterfalls pouring atop them. There were saunas and mud baths and masseurs and sea salt cave pools and the whole thing looked incredible and no one deserved it more than May. But she had been nervous to leave him, “Peter I know you’re turning eighteen soon but you’re not just a regular kid, you’re Spiderman, and it’d really make me feel better if someone was watching out for you. Plus you love the tower.” 

And he couldn’t really argue with that no matter how embarrassing it was to be _babysat_ \- no matter how many times May insisted it really wasn’t. 

Happy unlocked the car doors as he slid up to the tower entrance. “You sure you didn’t put anything in the trunk?” he asks and Peter shakes his head.

“Unlike May, I only need a backpack.” he waves his around as proof and grins as May scrunches her face.

“Hey! Girls need a lot. I blame society.”

Peter laughs, “Sure May, whatever you say.” he leans forward between the gap in the front seats to plant a quick kiss to her cheek, “Have a good trip you guys.” he fixes Happy with a mock serious expression, “And no funny business.” 

Happy swats him away, “Yeah, yeah, now get outta here, we have a reservation to catch.” 

“Bye Peter, I love you!” 

“Love you too May!” he waves until they drive out of sight and letting out a breath, Peter pulls on his bag strap and walks inside. 

Tony isn’t home yet, he had texted him saying he’d be stuck at work for the next while, but he’d try to escape as soon as he could. Peter had told him it’d be fine and not to worry about it, because there really was nothing to worry about- but he had gravely underestimated just how damn bored he’d be alone. A part of him wanted to go patrolling, but he had just left Queens and he was under strict orders not to go out without telling anyone first. Sighing, Peter plops onto the couch and asks FRIDAY to put on some Brooklyn Nine-Nine reruns. 

He’s partway through season three feeling like he wants to poke his eyeballs out from boredom when the elevator pings. Brightening, Peter flips over the couch, skidding to a frazzled stop in his socks in front of a very surprised Tony Stark. “Mr. Stark you’re back!” 

Tony looks taken aback, mouth slightly parted, before his expression softens into fondness. “Hey kid, miss me?” 

Peter crosses his arms, turning away. “ _No._ ” 

Tony waggles his brows, “You sure? Because I’ve never had anyone that excited to see me before.” 

“You’re not that cool Mr. Stark, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Peter snarks, but then Tony’s words hit him and he stops. 

That was such a sad thing to say. And it breaks Peter’s heart that Tony still says things like that, that he doesn’t let it sink in how much people love him. And Peter remembers what he said when they were sending out invitations, about not being there with him anymore. And he thinks about how Tony’s been trying to spend time with him lately, and how happy he looks right in this moment, basking in the realization that someone looked forward to him returning, and Peter’s heart breaks because how could he leave him? 

He couldn’t leave Tony alone. 

He just couldn’t.

So see, see! There were so many reasons not to go and making sure Tony was happy- because he _deserved_ to be happy- was an important one. One of the most important ones. And even though Peter doesn’t want to finish it, he wants to make more memories and he wants to do what they do best, “Do you want to come work with me? Or are you too tired from actual work?” 

“Never too tired for you Pete.” Tony says, ruffling his hair, “FRI, crank up the music in the lab, I want an entrance.” 

They spend the next five hours in the workshop and there’s the heavy bass in the background and the metallic clang of installation and Tony’s voice, teaching him about how everything works. There’s grease on his palms and sweat pooling at his brow, but the hard work is invigorating and Peter feels more at home and more in his element than he’s felt in a long time. But when he looks around, he just hears ticking clocks. 

Why can’t the good times just last forever? 

Why couldn’t things just stay the same? 

Pepper comes down into the workshop looking fond and exasperated all at once. It’s a look Peter knows she’s perfected in all the years with Tony and she wears it well. “Have either of you two eaten an actual meal today?” she asks, brow raised like she already knows the answer.

“I’m pretty sure we had a smoothie, didn’t we have a smoothie?” 

“I don’t know, does DUM-E mixing random things together count as a smoothie?” 

Tony makes a thoughtful face, “Now that’s a good philosophy question, if you mush it all up, it’s a smoothie.”

“Hi, I’d like to order a small ketchup smoothie please.”

“Huh. Pep? What are your thoughts?” 

“So that’s a no then.” she says, completely ignoring him- good call really- “Come on, I ordered Indian.” 

Peter looks at Tony, “She makes a hard bargain.” 

“This isn’t a negotiation, it’s an order, let’s go, go, go.” Pepper claps her hands and snickering, the two of them get up, following her out.

“You are a goddess amongst mortals.” Tony praises, reaching out to kiss her cheek.

“Oh my God Tony.” But Pepper’s laughing, a little blush on her cheeks and Peter smiles to himself. 

Tony has Pepper at least. He’d always have Pepper. 

Later that night, Peter’s in his room, editing some of his newest photos on his laptop when he hears Tony whooping down the hall. Nerves on alert, Peter rushes out the door, panic swirling in his stomach. Tony’s still yelling and he’s running as fast as he can hoping he’d get there in time, but when he rounds the corner to where Tony and Pepper’s room is, he skids to a stop, eyes wide. 

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant, holy shit- no wait no more swearing now, gotta be a good influence.”

“Tony, it’s not even a person yet.”

“Shh Pepper it can hear you!!” and cooing now, in a baby voice Peter’s never heard before in his life, “It’s okay baby, I still love you, even if mommy thinks you have no feelings.”

Pepper’s laughing and Peter can practically see the glitter in her eyes and the love in her smile, “Hey don’t turn the baby against me!” 

There’s a ruffling sound before Peter hears Tony again, voice low and sincere and so utterly grateful Peter almost wants to cry a little, “I’m so happy Pepper.”

“Me too Tony. Me too.” 

And Peter knows he’s heard enough now, already overstayed his welcome, so he tiptoes backwards, hoping to leave without being caught but he bumps into the wall, hissing between his teeth. “Peter?” Tony calls and Peter blanches, turning to run to literally anywhere but here, but Tony’s head is out the door.

“Peter?” 

Peter stumbles over his apologies, red in the face and hand frantically rubbing the back of his neck, “Mr. Stark! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just heard you yelling and I got worried so I came over here but obviously everything’s fine and-!”

Tony softens, gesturing for him to come over, “Well if you heard all of that, then you heard the good news right?” 

And he looks so giddy he’s practically bouncing. Peter doesn’t think he’s ever seen him this happy before. Not ever. 

Peter grins, but it’s watery and he nods like he can’t stop. “I-I heard.” 

“We’re having a baby!” Tony yells, pulling him into the room and hugging him like he can’t contain his joy. 

Peter hugs him tight, pressing his face into his neck, “I’m so happy for you Mr. Stark.” and his voice can’t go any higher than a whisper.

He pulls away to hug Pepper, spewing his congratulations over and over again. He’s bright eyed and caught in the whirlwind and Tony and Pepper just can’t stop smiling and Pepper’s rubbing her stomach like there was already a bump and Peter’s happy. He’s so so happy for them. They deserve it and they’ll make wonderful parents. Pepper will be such an amazing mom, stern but gentle, pushy but understanding. She’ll be great.

And Peter already knows Tony will be a good dad. The best dad. Because he had been one for Peter for all this time and now…

Now he really will be a dad. 

To someone who isn’t some random kid from Queens. 

Peter congratulates them one more time before slipping out the door, “I’ll leave you two to your celebrating.” His smile hurts him, “but I’m super honored to be the first to know.” 

Tony smacks a hand to his face, “Oh my God Rhodey. I gotta call Rhodey right now, he’s gonna kill me.” 

Peter laughs and closes the door right as Rhodey picks up the phone, “Honey-bear, you’re never gonna guess what just happened…” 

Peter doesn’t hear the rest because he’s running down the hall before he even realizes he’s doing it, falling into his bed, the blanket pulled up over his head. He lies there, in the stuffy darkness, until his thoughts all swirl together and melt away in sleep. 

And he’s grateful when he falls into the depths because he can avoid for the truth for one more night. One more night of not knowing the world has moved on without him. With May and Happy off starting a new life together and Tony and Pepper adding a new addition to theirs, there’s no more room for Peter anymore. 

Even if he could stay, everyone’s ready for him to leave. 

Everyone but him.

\-----------------------------

Peter wakes up the next morning with an anxious resolve in his stomach. He knows now that everyone he loves will be alright when he goes away. That their lives will be fuller for it. And he remembers being afraid of the August 26 deadline and has the date emblazoned in his mind. This time though, instead of pushing everyone away, he wants to spend the next month spending every single second with them. He’ll never get another chance again. A time when everyone still belonged to him. When he was still everyone’s priority. 

Life is a river, it flows eternal. It moves over rocks and branches and all the life swimming beneath. Eventually Peter will get swept up with it, but for now, he’ll rest on the bank, clutching as tightly as he can to the sand as though it wasn’t slipping through his fingers. 

He creeps out of bed, washing his face and brushing his teeth. He’s going to make the most of this month. He needs to. For his own sake. He wants to make every ever-lasting memory there could be to make to tide him over for when he’s really all alone out there. 

“FRI.” he whispers, though he knows he doesn’t need to, “Are they awake yet?” 

“Mr. Stark and Miss. Potts are still asleep, but judging from their REM cycle, they should be awake in the next hour or so.” 

“Perfect, thanks FRIDAY.” 

Taking his laptop with him to the kitchen, he pulls up the recipe for pancakes, pouring all the ingredients into the bowl. Throwing in a few blueberries for the hell of it, Peter bites his lip as he pours the batter into the pan, staring intently at the edges for the tell-tale sign it was ready to be flipped. 

But the stupid recipe is a liar because he burns the first one when he followed the timing and then leaves the other one half raw when he docks off half the time. 

It takes him two more tries to get the right timing down. And by the end of the batter, he has a solid stack of pancakes and still a bit of dignity left. Which is more than enough to attempt an omelette. He makes short work of the vegetable chopping and the actual egg cracking and by the time he hears voices, he has the table all set up with juice and coffee and everything he’s made. 

“Pepper am I hallucinating or does the place smell like pancakes?” 

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s real.” Pepper notes and Peter can hear the smile in her voice.

When they seem him, standing a little awkwardly over the table holding a syrup bottle they gape. “Peter, oh my God this looks incredible!” Pepper praises.

Peter smiles, rubbing the back of his head, “Thanks Miss. Potts, took me a few tries, but if at first you don’t succeed, right?” 

“We should announce goods news more often.” Tony teases, taking a seat next to him. 

Peter ducks his head. “Don’t compliment me yet. I have no idea what anything even tastes like.” 

“I’m sure it’s great honey.” Pepper takes a big bite of egg to make her point.

Tony scrutinizes her face before helping himself with gusto, “Well Pepper obviously likes it, and she’s kind of an omelet snob from personal experience so give yourself a gold star kid.” 

Pepper makes a face, “It was one time Tony and it took you three hours to make. Anyone would be suspicious of a three hour omelet.” 

Peter snorts, unable to help himself, “Mr. Stark I though you were a genius.” 

Tony scowls, burying his face in his coffee cup to avoid looking at them. “In case anyone cares to remember, I was dying of palladium poisoning. You know? Because the thing that was saving my life was slowly killing me in one of life’s greatest ironies? Remember that?”

“Three hour omelet.” Pepper deadpans and Peter’s laughing all over again. 

“Alright. Fine.” Tony pouts, “See if I ever try to spoil you ever again.” 

“Says the man who just bought us tickets to go see Cirque du Soleil tonight.” 

Peter’s eyes widen, the excitement bounding inside him, “Wait are you serious?” 

“Well it was _supposed_ to be a surprise but I guess someone has an early case of pregnancy brain,” he teases, flashing Pepper a goofy grin, “but I remembered you saying something about it earlier, so I thought this would be a good time to go see it.”

“Holy crap that’s so cool. I showed you their videos right?? They literally defy gravity it’s so crazy!” 

“I don’t know, I’m skeptical about all things too cool to be true.” 

\-----

“I take it back. They’re cool and they’re true. Wow.” 

Peter smiles, heart beating fast, “Right?? And that part where she flips in the air and then that guy caught her and then just?? Launched her?? A-plus. Novel. Amazing.” 

“Pepper should we hire acrobats for Thor and Bruce’s wedding?” Tony asks, turning to her completely serious.

“I think maybe you should probably ask the grooms?” 

“No way, they have no clue what they want, they’re still busy arguing over where to have it.”

Peter balks, “But I spent hours sending out invites!! They can’t change the place!! People have RSVP’d!” he yells. With extra horror.

“Don’t get me started. I’m this close to banning them from their own party planning meetings.” 

\--------------------------------

When May comes back, Peter monopolizes every free second. He accompanies her on errands and grocery shopping and when questioned about his sudden interest in shoe shopping just shrugs and says he had nothing better to do anyway. He urges May to invite Tony over for more Italian potluck dinners and pulls out all the stops to make sure they have a good time. When August turns the corner, he invites everyone to the common room for a games night.

Thor and Bruce crush it at Tabboo because of that weird psychic link they had now that they were in love or whatever. But Peter does pretty good with Pepper and Tony and they’re almost tied by the end of it. But- as usual- the universe decides to mess with them and when Bruce only has ten more seconds before his round is over, he gets the winning card.

“Uhh-uh-,” he lights up, waving his hand in the air, “Ok, yeah! Hela loves?”

“Murder! Destruction! Destroying my life! Patricide!” 

“YES!” 

“I’m sorry what?” Tony interjects, looking between the couple’s giddy happy dance to give Peter a look that had him in stiches. 

They play mafia next and for a group of people that literally trust each other with their lives, they jump on each other’s throats like savages. With Vision as the moderator, the intricate stories of how they died at the hands of the mafia were delivered in such a monotone that every dramatic death was ridiculous to the point of hilarious absurdity. When Peter got killed- because someone tampered with his webbing and he plummeted to his death- Tony fell into a rage, “Who the fuck killed my kid? I’ll kill you right now, Thor let’s go.”

Peter’s heart swells at the declaration and he giggles despite the drama of it all. 

“I did not kill the spider child! I’m very fond of him.” 

“Thor, that’s not how this works,” Bruce tried to say before Vision hushed him.

“Bruce, I believe you were killed in a fiery explosion in the laboratory, so if you please.” 

Tony gasped dramatically, turning to Pepper, “Did you kill Peter?” 

“No, did _you_?” 

“Of course I didn’t. Which means it has to be Thor. Pepper, quick, get into an alliance with me and let’s get rid of him. This is our last round otherwise that monster wins.” 

Pepper scrutinizes him for a minute. “How do I know you’re not lying?”

Tony grabs his chest, “I’m hurt sweetheart.” 

“Virginia, trust me, it is your husband who’s lying. If I was the mafia why would I not just kill him and be done with him?” Thor glares at Tony who’s looking even more certain of his opinion.

“He’s trying to turn you against me Pepper don’t you see what he’s doing?”

Vision clears his throat, “It is time for the vote. Who votes to kill Pepper?”

No hands raised.

“Thor?”

Tony’s hand shoots in the air and reluctantly, Pepper’s follows. 

Vision is remorseless. “I regret to inform the village that Thor has been involved in a violent murder.” 

“No! You cannot kill me! I’m innocent!” 

Tony smiles wickedly, cackling, “I know.” 

Peter gasps, “Oh my God.”

“Behold your mafia leader!” Tony strikes a pose, bursting into laughter as Peter chucks the remote at him.

“You killed me!! Your protégé! Your mentee! Your spider child!” 

“I’m sorry Peter. Killing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I had to beat dumb and dumber at least once today or I’d kill myself.”

“So you _sacrificed_ me?!” Peter wails in mock disbelief, throwing his head onto Pepper’s knees from where he was perched at her feet on the floor. 

“I guess we know who’s sleeping on the couch tonight.” Pepper pushes Tony’s shoulder, laughter in her eyes.

“All’s fair in love and war.” Tony shrugs, “But it’s nice to know you love me more than justice.”

“Wait you _knew_?” Bruce accuses and Pepper bites her lip to keep from laughing.

“I had my suspicions. But once he killed Peter I knew for sure. He thought it would be so uncharacteristic, it was characteristic.” 

Tony presses a kiss to her lips, “You know me so well Miss. Potts.” 

Peter scrunches his nose, covering his eyes exaggeratedly, “Get a rooooom oh my Gooddd.”

And through the laughter and the competition and the sweetness of all the candy in his mouth, Peter counts down the days. 

\------------------------------

Peter thought that if he could keep his days full and a smile permanently on his face, then he wouldn’t feel the loss that crept up inside him and threatened to swallow him whole. But he’s one week away from leaving the place he grew up in the city that he loves and he’s hit with every feeling he’s repressed for so long. All the insecurities he’d thought he had dealt with over the course of his entire life batter against him and with no defenses, he crumbles beneath them.

And he can’t be here. Can’t be swinging around Queens distracted the way he is because when Spiderman gets distracted, bad things happen. And he can’t afford to mess up, not again. But he doesn’t want to go home and he just wants to do something, something to get his mind off of everything terrible, so he swings to the tower, where he knows he’s always welcome. He slips inside unnoticed, sneaks to the workshop to work on the car. 

He’s reminded of the first time he did this, and can’t help but smile, self-deprecating and small. God, he never gets over things does he? Can’t ever move on. He just gets stuck in the same loop of the same problem, over and over- God when does it stop. 

He’s trying to push the little lever to slide the seat back and forth into the seat’s side, but he must not have made the hole big enough because he’s pushing the piece in as hard as he can but it refuses to go in. Gritting his teeth, he mashes it in, ignoring the fact that it’s just too big and he’s going to have to make the hole wider but he can’t stop bashing it in and the frustration builds inside him until he picks up the seat in its entirety and sends it flying through the air. The resounding crash echoes in his ears and the guilt pools in his stomach. 

“Peter?” 

His stomach drops. Peter whirls around, face paling when he sees Tony walk inside the workshop, looking at him like Peter had just snapped. Peter looks to where the chair has fallen unceremoniously the floor, papers and knickknacks scattered around it. He can’t look at Tony. He just can’t. “I’m sorry.” he whispers, “I don’t- I don’t know what happened I just-”

Tony walks over to him, slow and deliberate. “Hey, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. This lab is a throwing things welcome zone.” 

Peter still won’t look at him until Tony cups his chin and tilts it upwards. “Peter, you’ve been acting weird for weeks now. May and I didn’t want to say anything because we didn’t want to push. But I’m calling it.” 

Peter frowns though he tries not to and wishes desperately he could get rid of all his feelings because no one needed to hear them. They were stupid and unnecessary and irrelevant and they would just be bothersome. Why couldn’t he be excited like everyone else? Why couldn’t he just wait to get out of home and start his new life? Why did he have to feel so goddamned abandoned just because everyone was making something of their lives? 

“Nothing Mr. Stark. I’m fine.” Peter twists his face out of his grip, turning his back on him.

“It’s definitely not fine, I think the chair would agree with me.”

“I’ll fix the chair and I’ll clean up the mess too.” 

Tony rubs the bridge of his nose, “That’s not what I- look, just, why don’t you try telling me what’s wrong? Maybe I can help?” 

Peter twists around, lip pulled and something so sad it turned angry roaring in his eyes, “You can stop treating me like a walking disaster that needs to be fixed all the time maybe.”

Tony jerks back like he was shocked. “I get it. I’m always getting into trouble and you and May always need to be on my case but you don’t need to worry about me anymore because I’m going soon and you guys can just keep moving on with your lives because I’m not going to be around to ruin it anymore.” Peter’s heart hammers in his chest and he feels guilty because none of that is even true on any real level but the words are already out there and Tony still hasn’t moved, let alone spoken, so he stomps to the desk to grab his bag before Tony intercepts him, hand gripped firmly around his arm.

“Hey.” and there’s no more gentleness in his voice. “What’s gotten into you?”

Peter rips his arm away, glaring at the floor. “Nothing.”

“It’s obviously not nothing Peter, what’s wrong?” 

And Tony’s reaching for him again but Peter pulls back before he can touch him. “Peter.” and Tony’s eyes swirl with hurt and Peter can see the shadow between his brows and the slight pull of his lip and feels every kind of awful.

Everyone was just better off without him.

He smiles, but it has no warmth. “Don’t worry Mr. Stark. You guys will all just move on without me anyway so all this doesn’t even matter.” 

And like the sun came out, Tony’s shoulders dropped like all the tension drained out of them. “ _That’s_ what you’ve been worried about? Peter, no one’s going to forget about you just because you go off to be a nerd superstar.” 

Peter furrows his brows, still determined not to look at him. “That’s not true and you know it.”

“You think May isn’t going to miss you every day and try not call you every second or that Happy won’t go leave to pick you up and then remember that’s not until you come home to visit?” Tony walks up to him poking him in the forehead, “You think I’m not gonna ask FRIDAY to facetime you to check some weird science thing no one else is gonna appreciate?” 

Peter deflates, head dropped. “Everything’s gonna change Mr. Stark. Don’t tell me it’s not.” 

“Of course things change kid. But that doesn’t make you less important.”

Peter’s eyes shot up, betrayed and in disbelief. “Of course I’ll be less important. May can finally live her life and date whoever she wants and doesn’t have to worry about me anymore and Ned will make other friends and the Avengers will find other heroes and even you’ll…” he trails off, unable to finish his sentence with Tony _looking at him like that_.

“I’ll what Pete?” he says calmly.

Peter shrugs, looking small in the grandeur of the lab. “It’s not like you need me anymore. You’re getting your own kid now. A real one. You don’t need the fill-in.” 

“The fill-in?” and Tony sounds so genuinely aghast that Peter stops feeling sorry for himself and looks. 

The hurt on Tony’s face has faded and there’s a sad sort of understanding. There’s empathy in the curve of his jaw and the softness in his eyes. Tony always had such expressive eyes. Once Peter got to know him, he understood why Tony always wore sunglasses. Otherwise the entire world would see past his mask and see how much the world hurt him no matter how hard he tried to hide it. But instead of pain, Peter sees love. A staggering outpouring brighter than the brightest star, more real than anything he’d ever known. 

“You know that my dad was the worst right?”

Startled, Peter could only stare.

“He never wanted to talk to me or check in or do any of that normal father-son stuff. So when I met Rhodey in college, he dragged me back to his folks’ place for Thanksgiving and they probably would’ve had me sign consent for adoption forms if they could’ve.” There’s a fond nostalgia in Tony’s smile, “They always invited me over after that and the first time his mom called me to ask if I got her cookies and how my exams went I cried and it was gross and embarrassing but it’s what happened.”

Tony shrugs, tracing the chair with his finger. “After I graduated, I thought I’d never hear from them again, but here we are, thirty something years later and I’m going upstate to visit them with Rhodey next week and getting told off that I’m still not eating a veggie a day.” 

Tony pulls his lip, scrunching his face the way he always did when he was about to get real. “What I’m trying to say, is that it’s normal to sometimes feel insecure about what you mean to people. And sometimes your family isn’t always just people you’re related to.”

“The truth is, I never thought I could be that guy. The type who settled down and had kids and a wife,” he smirks, “and if we’re being completely honest, the trophy husband Pepper’s always deserved, but then I met some kid who can crawl on walls and I realized I could be better than I thought I would be and that I could love someone in a way I didn’t think was possible.” 

Tony sniffs, rubbing his wrist. “In a shocking turn of events, I’m not afraid to be a dad because I feel like I’ve already kinda been one.” He quirks his lip, poking Peter in the forehead, his finger trailing down his cheek. “And that’s thanks to you.” 

Peter bows his head, feeling terrible yet so, so loved.

“And our kid? My lucky ass kid? They’re gonna get a fantastic big brother who’s gonna inspire them to be all sorts of great because you’re gonna go to MIT and kick ass and change the world and we’re all going to still be here waiting for you to come back.”

And in that moment Peter realizes it was never about loss but about gain. From a small family with just him and May grew into one with a father figure he never thought he’d get again, uncles and aunts he never got to have, and now something he’s wanted since before he could remember: a sibling. 

“Everything’s changing kid, but you’re changing right along with it and no matter what, you always have a place here. Because you’re not even close to being a fill-in. You’re the first.” 

And this time, when Tony reaches for him, Peter rushes into his arms. 

\-----------------------------------

It’s August 26 and Tony’s just finished stenciling in Peter’s name on the dashboard. The car’s been painted a shiny red, an inside joke of their secret identities and Tony gave it a sports car feel with the blue stitching on the inside. All the mechanics, electronics, and hydraulics are installed and the only thing to do is slip in the AI chip Tony tosses him with a grin. “Ready to take it for a spin?”

Peter jumps. “Are you serious? You said you never wanted to get in a car with me ever again.”

Tony winces. “I think having trauma from you going fifty on a highway is a universal experience kid. But you technically did get your license and we all know what a sucker I am for the law.” he wags his brows in that goofy way that always kills Peter.

Peter settles into the front seat, marveling at how well everything is attuned to him, fingers sliding over the leather steering wheel. Without much prompting, he slides the chip into its slot and turns the engine on as Tony sits patiently, a comfortable smile on his face. Immediately, the light of the car screen glows. “Hello Peter, where would you like to go today?”

Peter lights up, looking at Tony before looking back at the screen. “Karen!”

Tony leans back, a lazy pride in the curve of his smile. “She’s been upgraded to help you navigate the roads better. Signalling, lane changes, automatic brakes, the works.” 

“So basically it’s impossible to crash.”

“Nothing’s impossible kiddo. So you better be careful or I’ll fly over to MIT so fast you won’t even be able to grovel an appropriate amount.” 

Peter laughs, moving the gear into reverse. “I didn’t know there was an appropriate level of groveling.” a beat, and then, “but I guess you would know what with being Miss. Pott’s trophy husband and all.” 

Tony short-circuited for all of three seconds before throwing his head back in laughter so unrestrained it lit Peter up deep inside. 

Peter drives them down to his apartment where May’s waiting before they start their road trip up to MIT and settle him in. It’s bittersweet in a lot of ways but mostly, Peter’s just appreciative. Some people didn’t have anyone to unpack their stuff with and others only got one, but Peter had two people who loved him more than he ever thought he could be loved and who wanted to see him off not just because he needed them but because they weren’t ready to let go quite yet either. 

Peter asks Karen to text May they’re here and he and Tony wait outside, leaning on the car doors. Tony stretches his arm behind his head, arching his back dramatically, “Jeez. I can’t even remember the last time I did a road-trip.” 

“To be honest, I can’t really imagine you ever being on a road trip Mr. Stark.” 

Tony elbows him in his rib, Peter laughing as he ducks away. “Hey. I had experiences. Cool ones too. Rhodey and I had our fair share of shenanigans back in the day.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Next time I visit I might even tell you some.”

Tony says ‘next time’ like it’s a guarantee and Peter feels really lucky in that moment. Just…really lucky. He’s so deep in thought he doesn’t even notice Tony’s shifting until the man coughs and says, “You better not fall off the grid just because you’re all “independent” now or whatever,” Tony says suddenly, “And your school stuff is the first priority, but make sure you have fun and really take advantage of all that youthful energy you got going on and don’t forget that if you ever need anything, Tony Stark and Iron Man are just a phone call away.”

Peter scuffs his shoe against the pavement, looking up from behind his fringe, “Thanks Mr. Stark. I know.”

“I’m serious.” Tony looks at him and Peter sees the man he’s looked up to since he was a child, a man who always hid from the world but showed him his true self, a man without any red glasses over his eyes, just a veil of love. “I told you a long time ago that I’m on your side. Whenever you need me on your team…” 

Peter smiles, wide and free, launching into Tony’s arms and hugging him tight. “I think you’re gonna need me in your corner more than I need you Mr. Stark. You sure you can chase after a toddler with that back?” 

Tony snorts, his laughter reverberating through Peter’s hair. “That’s what I got you for. Honorary big brother.” 

Peter’s still too overwhelmed to really say anything when May bursts out the door carrying a box messily labeled as “Clothes- but not nice stuff”. “Hey boys, want to give me a hand or what?” 

Tony flashes a pair of finger guns, “Looking good Parker.” 

May rolls her eyes, but Peter can see the fondness, “Nice to see you too Tony. Now go be a useful superhero and save me from all this heavy lifting.” 

Between the three of them, they take down all the boxes, piling them in the trunk and backseat and when May shuts the trunk, there’s a tension inside of him that just…disappears. Tony catches his odd look, wrapping his arm around Peter’s shoulder, not shielding him, but supporting him. And Peter thinks he can do this. He can move on from this point, take the next step forward. It’s easier to go now that he knows he always has a place to come back. 

Tony’s arm is tight around him and May’s smiling at him, the wind blowing through her hair. He loves them. He loves them so much. And he wants to make them proud. So when May asks, “Ready to go?” 

Peter looks up at the building he grew up in, the streets he’d ran on, the sky he’d swung in and looks back at May and Tony and his brand new car, physical proof of a bond not even the universe could break and knows deep inside, “Yeah. I’m ready.”


End file.
